Letting Go Of Needing To Be Understood

Letting Go of Needing to Be Understood

Being misunderstood can be a painful experience. Not because you weren’t clear, or because you didn’t try hard enough to explain, but because some people just don’t want to understand you and who you are.

Sometimes your honesty is too confronting for them. Sometimes your boundaries feel confusing. Sometimes your gentleness unsettles something in them. And sometimes they only ever related to the version of you who kept the peace, said yes and stayed small. Whatever the reason, it hurts.

Especially when you’ve tried again and again to create connection, understanding and a sense of mutual respect. You’ve softened your words, stayed calm, opened your heart and given them the benefit of the doubt. You’ve wondered if you were too much, too serious, too sensitive, too complicated. You’ve replayed conversations, rewritten your message in your mind and asked yourself what more you could’ve done.

But at some point, reality dawns on you:

This isn’t about your clarity.

It’s about their capacity.

Some people don’t want to understand. They want to stay comfortable.

And your healing, your growth and your shift in energy all disrupt the comfort they’re used to.

When It’s Not About You

It’s easy to internalise someone else’s discomfort as your fault. To believe that if they’ve pulled away, you must’ve done something wrong. But sometimes, they’re not rejecting you. They’re resisting their own discomfort. And you’ve simply become the mirror.

It can feel personal. But more often than not, it’s not.

They may not be ready. They may never be. And that’s painful but it’s not something you can control.

Let Them (Mel Robbins Was Onto Something)

Motivational speaker, Mel Robbins, makes a simple and powerful statement: Let them.

Let them misjudge you.

Let them misunderstand.

Let them roll their eyes, avoid the conversation or stick to the story they feel safe with.

Let them.

Because how they respond isn’t a reflection of your worth; it’s a reflection of their openness and readiness.

Letting go doesn’t mean you’ve stopped caring. It doesn’t mean you’re being cold or distant. It means you’re no longer twisting yourself into knots for people who aren’t willing to meet you where you are.

It’s not bitterness. It’s clarity.

And there’s freedom in that.

What If You Stopped Explaining?

These questions changed everything for me:

What if I stopped explaining myself to people who are committed to misunderstanding me?

What if I stopped trying to earn your right to be seen and instead began standing in my truth, quietly, steadily and without apology?

What if you did that too?

Because sometimes you don’t get the conversation where it all becomes clear. You don’t get the moment where they say, “Now I understand.” You don’t get the sense that at some level they get you and respect you, even if your views are very different.

But what you do get, when you stop chasing understanding, is your energy back.

Your breath.

Your clarity.

And your self-respect.

And from that place, something new can begin to grow.

To the Woman Who Feels Invisible

If you’re reading this and thinking, that’s me then I want you to know you’re not alone.

I know how lonely it can be when you feel unseen or unheard.

I know how tempting it is to shrink again, to wear the mask, to make yourself small just to keep the peace.

But you’re not here to be acceptable on any terms. You’re not here to conform to how others want you to be. You’re here to be real, whole and free.

Yes, that might mean some people fall away. People who only liked the version of you who said yes when your heart was screaming no. People who preferred you quieter, less clear, more convenient.

But the woman you’re becoming?

She’s worthy of space.

She’s allowed to take up room in the world, even if it makes others uncomfortable.